It was not her, again.  

I have been doing this for longer than I have known what it is I am doing, but everything I have done has been working towards a singular goal. Does that make sense? It sounds strange out loud. I want to be clear.

The first one I did appeared at the time to be without any reason. Looking back now, the path is evident.

I read a book about plane crashes once. When you approach a crash, you see small things first. The plane sometimes hits and scatters debris or explodes in the air and tumbles in. But there is always a core, always some center. The main point of impact.

That is where I am now, and looking out at the spray of corpses, I can see the reasons arcing backwards in time to claim those poor innocent people, projected from where I am now.

They all had to die, even if I did not know why, then.

Of course, now it is no problem at all to look for her. I rather enjoy it. I look forward to it. And even though this was not her, again, I know sometime soon that HE will lead me to her. That I will find her. That I will free her and then be taken into HIS church. 

Do not worry for me. I have faith.